Thursday, June 20, 2013

Not Such a Bad Person and Psychology.

Welp, my little therapy session with Minxie comes to a closure, truly those were some fun months, the thrill of how you would end up, amazing! I could list everything that has happened, but I think Minxie did it better than me, I would like to explain a few aspects of this therapy we had.

But before I start explaining a few things, I would like to say, Minxie, you surprised me. Honestly, when I first saw your blog, I thought "Well this is boring" but then I started to notice, something makes me keep coming back to your blog, didn't take me long to understand what it was, your curiosity, that same curiosity is the reason why I consider you to be a friend, but more about that later.

So what was the purpose of the Therapy, it had nothing but good intentions, of course the way to achieve them was...questionable to some, but that is because none of you understood, now I will try to explain. I said countless times that I wanted to help Minxie find out what kind of person she is, to let her find out her limits, where she was standing in all of this, when you know those things, your survival chances increase drastically, you start thinking much more clearer.

At first, I thought this therapy was to come to an end when she would make her first kill, but when I saw the lack of emotion, I figured it out, she didn't feel anything, because her emotions were not fixated on that person, they were fixated on Snowblind. I needed to expand those emotions, I needed to turn them into pure hatred, so she would be able to find out what kind of person she is, after she had killed Snowy.

There is a theory I've been using behind all of this, and that theory is rather simple. You see, lots of people think that they are "good", but why do they assume that? You know why? They are afraid, afraid that if they do something "bad" they will go to prison, or hell, or some place. So they automatically assume the role of a good person out of fear and as we all know, anything that is done out of fear has no moral value whatsoever. The only way to determine what kind of person you are, is to commit the most horrendous sin, to kill someone and if after you kill someone, you feel tremendous guilt, you're a good person. But if you feel nothing and even at some point, enjoyment, then you are a horrible person, but that doesn't mean you're not human. This is why I told Minxie that she is a horrible person, just like me, she didn't feel any ounce of guilt after she had killed Snowflake, but she understood, that wasn't the end of her humanity, now she knows what she is capable of.

The reason why I wanted to help her out? While it is true, that I was interested in how she would end up, I was doing all of that, because I considered her to be my friend. You see, her questions, her curiosity, showed interest in me, before Minxie, the only one I could talk to was Azoth, at first I payed no attention to that, but then a realization came. It is pretty depressing, when the only thing that is interested in you and understands you is not even human, makes you feel like you're not a human, made me forget that I was human and I was fully convinced that I was a monster. But then Minxie comes along and starts taking interest in my fascinations, at some point she even starts to understand me, that brought back the feeling of humanity, she reminded me that I was a human, a horrible, but a human non the less. As much as we want to deny it, we are all human, even if we have supernatural talents.

So, I guess I have this to say, thank you Minxie, you reminded me of something important, although I bleed Azoth, I am still made out of human meat and organs and I can easily die, that I am human.

Now for some psychology, originally I was going to make this post a simple explanation to my motives behind Minxie's therapy. But there's another person I need to address, pHIL. For this part, you need to read his post, in order to understand what this is all about.

Mr. Mcdonalds here constantly implied that I am a psychopath and today he made this silly chart of his to prove his point. Problem with that is, he knows diddly squat about me, so he can't really determine anything. Now all of you can easily turn that around on me and say "But uncle Kelevra, you did almost the same analysis on us!", well kiddies I have constantly noted that those analysis are assumptions, not facts, I could easily be wrong, because I don't know you people, for example JP's analysis, that was a complete miss, or Minxie's, in her analysis I said that she would break down if she killed someone, I was wrong and that's a fact.

Another thing that's Mr. Mcdonalds doesn't know me, to say that I am a psychopath, so I will gladly debunk his little chart over here, to make my point clear (The things that will stay unchanged are true).


  • Glibness/superficial charm- 1
  • Grandiose sense of self-worth- 1 (I don't care about myself, only about my goals, which are in turn Fortissimo's goals, so I don't do it only for myself, I do for Fortissimo as well.)
  • Pathological lying-0 (Never lied in my life, withheld information? yes, lied? Give me at least one example)
  • Cunning/manipulative - 2
  • Lack of remorse or guilt - 2
  • Shallow affect -1 (Tell you me this before I met Minxie, that would have been complete truth, but now, after this therapy, only partially)
  • Callousness; lack of empathy-1 (Same reason as above)
  • Failure to accept responsibility for his own actions- 0 (I accept full well the responsibility of my actions, I simply don't care about them, but I do accept them)
  • Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom- 1
  • Parasitic lifestyle- 1
  • Poor behavioral control - 0 (Full control of my behavior, I do things when I want to do them, someone insults me, I can ignore them, or attack them, but I do it because I want to, not because I feel insulted, in fact I take my insults as compliments, when people insult me, they show that I exist)
  • Lack of realistic long-term goals- 0 (Destruction is a pretty realistic goal to me, a goal that has been with me ever sine I was born, not a good goal, but a realistic one, now the fact that I can't fulfill it is true, but it is real, someday the world will end, but I won't be around to see it, so until then, I cause as much destruction as I can.)
  • Impulsivity-0 (I always think over my actions, and take into consideration the consequences, if I didn't, I wouldn't be ready for them and quite frankly, would be dead.)
  • Irresponsibility-0 (I have responsibility of protecting Incognito, had the responsibility of protecting Minxie and have responsibility of protecting Fortissimo.)
  • Juvenile delinquency- 2
  • Early behavior problems- 2
  • Promiscuous sexual behavior-2
  • Many short-term relationships-0 (Had only one relationship, my darling Fortissimo.)
  • Criminal versatility-1 (I keep careful safety of myself, for if I die, Fortissimo dies, along with that I take into consideration the safety of people I want to keep safe.)
So you said that if all the points rack up about 30 or more, then the person is a psychopath, alright lets see...16, even your chart proves it.

Also, you said that me calling myself "10 steps ahead" means I'm a pompous, egoist? Well pompous, yes, but calling me an Egoist, we're all Egoists. The question is, who is a bigger Egoist, in our case, you are a bigger Egoist than I am. This opinion of yours, that I'm a psychopath, if it was your opinion and you kept it to yourself, if all of it was simply an assumption, but it isn't. Not only are you 100% sure of your calculations, but you are also trying to convince everyone in how correct it is. As for the "10 steps ahead" phrase, well its fact, Minxie is 5 steps ahead of you pHIL. You know why? She and I, we realized our secret, horrible desire, in doing so, we found out where we stand and we know our limits, we know ourselves better than some people, those some people, are you pHIL. You know why you're a couple of steps behind? Because you haven't fulfilled you're deepest, darkest desire, you probably don't even know what it is. So how about you go and take a good, long look in the mirror and I do mean it, take a chair if you need and find out, the horrible things you truly want to do, killing isn't the most horrible thing.

So here is my analysis to you Mcdonald:

You seem to be prideful in your knowledge, thus you will deny if someone questions them, you will also deny the fact that you are wrong, because your pride is just too darn big. Which in result means your Ego is big. I don't mean you're stupid, no, on the contra ire, you're smart. But until you admit your weaknesses, not to me, not to anyone else, but to yourself. You will remain to be, a poor little man, who will keep denying his mistakes, until his mistakes drive him to his grave.

All assumptions of course.


  1. versattility doesn't mean you don't watch try to keep alive. thst's stupidity. you do perform a franklty mindboggling array oc crimes, both against law and natutre. which is versatility.

    realistic means the likeliness of you suvceeding at your long term goal, not the chhabces of it happening anyway. so you yoursael show that should be higher.

    control. you vhoose lack of control, even as your shallow affect means what emotion you harbour doesnt have much of an affect.

    as for your abalysis of me, you miss a key point. I now im wrong aboutr damn near everything. i dony mention it bevause its a wee bit redundant. if you're dumb enough not to think im pullinmg most of the shiut i say and tuink out of my arse, you most likely dont particularly matter.
    as for the mart comment, thankis, but that's dead wrong too. if i was smart i wouldn't be sittin on the path missing y eye.

    1. You fant rhe aeguemwnts, can you,?

    2. No, its not that, its just that, you made it plainly obvious that arguing with you, is a simple waste of my time. You're too prideful, too egotistic to admit a couple of things, honestly, arguing with you, is almost as pointless, as trying to teach a tree to talk.

      I said this before and I'll say it again, until you admit a couple of things to yourself, I repeat, not me, not them, but to yourself, there is absolutely no point in arguing with you.

    3. thats a shame. I rather enjoyed our little debates. Even if we are both far too proud to admit when we're wrong. human condition, innit?

  2. Aww, thanks. I didn't know that I understood you. I thought I did but I didn't know for sure. Keep an open mind, not making assumptions and all.

    So my dead body is off the market? WAHOO!

    If I can help you retain some feeling of humanity, maybe I could help others do that too.

    Tell you what, if there's a hell and I'm not the one to send you there, I'll be the first one to greet you when you walk through the gates!

    1. We will have so much fun in hell together! Down there, morals are gone, only the strongest survive and if you stick with me, we will be a force to be reckoned with down there. But only down there.

      Here, we're just friends who are having a friendly competition of who will kill who, and who will outlive who. Good luck.

    2. And you also, good luck mate.

      I don't believe in hell, but in the offchance it exists, it's probably heaps more lively than heaven.

      So you don't lie, you were telling the truth when you said you knew something about my father.

  3. I think you're a psychopath. But not because of some chart bullshit.

    All of us are psychos in one way or another.


    1. We're all crazy. Most people just hide from their insanity.


    2. “If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.”
      ― Christopher Moore, Practical Demonkeeping

    3. Correct, we're all crazy in our own, special way, just like all of us are Egoists.

      Its common knowledge.

  4. Great and interesting speech as always, Kelevra. I must agree with your theory about people acting "good" because they live in fear of the consequences, both man/society made and theological(which may be the same thing depending on your beliefs.).

    1. A theory, that my psychologist once put in front of me, for me to digest. I'm glad you're enjoying this.

  5. I don't believe that guilt can be the only thing that separates a good person from a bad one. I have had the privileged to know one of the better people in the world. And he only felt guilty sometimes.

    This therapy of yours has made me reconsider my theory a bit though. I had thought that killing was a surefire way of steadily making your light go out. But there Sanna is, still glowing. Definitely makes me think.

    And if you ever want more friends, feel free to send me an email. I've been very close to people far worse than you.

    1. But that is the whole point of any therapy, it is not to convince someone of something, no, the point of a therapy is to make the person question themselves, reconsider some things and I'm glad that it worked not only with Minxie, but also, in some way, with you.

      I'll remember the proposal, though right now I do not require any conversations, it is nice to know that you are willing to become a friend.

  6. You know, asshat, the psychopathy test kind of loses all worth if you're the one giving it to yourself.