Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Good ol' Doctor.

Hey Incogny,

Are you mad about my previous experiment? Don't be, I'm only trying to understand you, is that so wrong?

It has also come to my attention that you have been getting very comfortable, healing and resting, and shit. You were right, if you ever get so old, you might as well be dead.

So I did you a favor, I wanted to personally thank the man that patched you up after the beating you took at the hands of Mennonite, I came over, but his door was closed, so I figured he wouldn't mind and figured I might as well wait for in the kitchen.

Once I heard the door open, I got off the chair and walked towards the door way, he was so surprised to see me, that he tried to run and get more guests. However, I'm a shy person, so I asked my darling to pull him back inside of his house, she did as I asked.

Once he calmed down, I wanted to ask him a few questions about you Incogny, after all, this is the man that used to work with you in KGB, until he retired of course. I'll tell you, he wasn't willing to talk at all, no matter how much I asked him, he'd rather lie:

"I worked with "Incognito" for 30 years, I saved his life once outside of Moscow, that's all I know..."

"You saved his life just once? Don't be so modest, doc! How about more recently, when Mennonite took him on a Sledge Hammer roller coaster?"

"I don't know where to find him."

"Right, but you do know a thing or two else about him, huh? I mean, you're his doctor, right? A man that gets shot and stabbed so much, he must have somebody who patches him up from time to time, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I imagine you've seen him naked. Can you tell me how that's like?"

"In 1989 I was on a top secret operation to take down a group of terrorists. They captured me, put me in a cage, broke both of my arms, beat me and starved me for four months. I'll tell you now,what I told those bastards every morning back then, GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

"Now see, here I am, treating you all civil-like, letting you sit here in your house and talk to me like a man. But never mind now..."

I asked my darling to wrap around his neck and lift him in the air, she did as I asked.

"I'll just get what I need from your screams."

I believe, details of what happened later, are unnecessary, since soon you're going to be hearing about it on the news.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Studies: Re-Living the Tragedy

The smell of bacon and eggs being cooked on the oven by my wife was amazing, I waited behind the table with my beautiful little daughter.

"Once upon a time, Mr. Incognito was a family man. He had a wife and beautiful little girl. A nice home in the suburbs, a quiet, happy life. It looked for all the world like he'd simply grow old and get fat, and bounce his grandkids on his knee. But one day he and his wife decided to take their daughter to the church for the first time, Incognito's family just happened to get under the Axe of an insane Priest, they get chopped up, the whole family, except Incognito. And that's what flipped the switch inside him, that's what turned him into Mr. Incognito."

My wife turned around, bringing the bacon and eggs over to the table.

"Now what I'm trying to do is get inside his head so I can..."

"Please let us go..."

She sat beside my daughter, poor dear, she was tired of her job and here I was talking about my job on top of that.

"Oh you're right, I shouldn't talk about work over breakfast, so sorry. I'm new to this whole family thing, you know."

I started eating my breakfast, they just sat there looking at me, I felt bad that I was the only one eating, but then again, I was kind of hungry, but once they noticed that I was worried about them, they started eating as well.

"I must say though, I'm really starting to like it. I never saw myself as much of a settled-down, wife-and-children sorta guy, but it's not a bad life."

I saw my little daughter eating, while looking at me.

"You kids... Man, I gotta say, I now see what all the fuss is about with you guys, I really do. Watching you two cry yourselves to sleep last night, it really hit me, life is precious, we've got to live everyday like it's last, because you never know, it just might be."

I finished my meal.

"That's why I've got a very important day planned for us today. So eat up, your gonna need your energy. We're going to take our daughter to the church for the first time dear, isn't this what you always wanted to do?"

After that we all got inside the car and I made sure everyone was strapped in, as I went behind the steering wheel, I kept on saying.

"Hi, my name is Mr. Incognito and I'm a happy family man. I'm going to the church with my family, going to introduce my daughter to the family tradition, cause it is very important. Hi my name is Mr. Incognito and I'm a happy family man..."

We went to the Church which my wife always visited, as we were walking down the hall toward the confession booth, my daughter looked up at me and said:

"Please don't hurt us..."

"Hurt you? Are you kidding? I could never hurt you! I love you! All of you, with all my heart!"

We were getting closer to the booth.

"You're my world, you truly are! I don't know what I'd do without you."

We very close to the confession booth.

"I said, I don't know what I'd do without you!"

A crazy priest ran out of the confession booth, hacking and slashing my family down with an Axe, I watched the horror happen in front of my eye and during all of that, only on thought was rolling through my head:

"My name is Mr. Incognito and this is the happiest day of my life..."

I watched it happen until my family was completely dead, I sat on the ground for a few minutes, searching for a feeling...but I felt nothing...

"Boss? Boss, did I do it right?"

"It didn't work, I didn't feel it, I didn't feel anything..."

"Boss?"

"It didn't work, we'll have to do it again."

This is a hard experiment, will have to take a few tries to work.