So there I am driving in a car the owner of which so generously lent to me for a few weeks, just about enough time to reach my destination. But I am not an ungrateful sort, Timothy was so tense during our discussion on whether he would let me borrow his car or not, I felt so bad for him, he was a man in his 40's after all, pressure couldn't have been good for him, so once we came to an agreement I relieved him of his pressure and his head, Billy was a swell chap, I will remember him and his generosity forever.
I never could have realized that driving in the middle of the night on an empty road surrounded by a deep forest from both sides could be that irritating. It was a full moon that night, I would be lying if I said I wasn't cautious, the branches of the trees that would connect with each other from both sides, trying their damnedest to block out the night sky would sometimes unintentionally (Or maybe intentionally) form our Tall Friend's silhouette, making the full moon seem like it was it's faceless head. As if the Tall Bastard was towering over the entire road, looking down on us, on me, underestimating me, viewing me as nothing more than a cockroach, well let it, that type of attitude always worked in my favor.
I wasn't even fucking sure where the hell I was going, all I had were some vague directions from Ol' Jack: "Keep driving out of the city following the main road, until you reach the deepest of forests, from there on follow the deer." I was pretty sure I got to the forest part at this point, the part that eluded me was obviously the deer bit. I mean it's a forest, a deep one at that, how many deer's would I see if I were to stop and go exploring.
Then I just barely notice it, there in the distance covered in darkness where my headlights did not reach, a quick flash of light. I didn't even have a chance to ponder what it might have been, because the screeching sound that was traveling at great speed through the air in my direction quickly answered the question that I wasn't even fast enough to ask in the form of a rocket, heading directly towards me.
I swerved the car as quick and as hard as I could, managing to just about angle the car away from the oncoming torpedo, making it hit the ground next to me and my car. The force of the explosion in combination with the momentum of my driving instantly flipped my car over, flying a good distance through the air before the roof of the car smashed into the ground and the car slid across the road, smashing against one of the many trees, it's a miracle that the diesel didn't instantly catch on fire.
Hanging upside down in the car, doing fairly well all things considered thanks to my darling wrapping around me and protecting me, and of course, the seat belt. My darling grew sharp spikes out of the various parts of my jacket, cutting off the seat belt, freeing me and allowing me to crawl away to safety before the car got lit up like a Christmas Tree.
And light up it did! BOOM! A big explosion, would be very painful if my darling didn't cover my back and protect me from the fire, the glass and the metal pieces, sadly she couldn't do much about the gravity as the force of the explosion had sent me directly face first into a tree, that hurt. As I lay there, near that tree, trying to catch my breath and adjust my vision back to normal from it's blurry state, I quickly notice that flaming car + a forest = a massive forest fire, which is no good when you're smack dab in the middle of said forest fire.
As I try to balance myself and get my bearings, the fire seems to spread at increasing speed and while my darling is concentrating on the falling trees and the spreading fire, it means that I am left relying only onto my own eye, that rocket didn't just materialize into existence on it's own after all, someone had shot it in my direction and that someone could still be lurking around in the distance, waiting to finish the job.
And that's when it flies directly by my face, an arrow that is on fire and with such speed that if it had landed, it probably would have went directly through my head. Luckily for me it missed allowing me to instantly duck for cover, little good that did for me, I couldn't see past the fire in order to try and identify where the arrow was fired from, I was a sitting duck in there and I don't like being a sitting duck. So I tell my darling to do her best and cover as much of my body as she can, we were going to run through the fire, it's not a particularly fun experience it's like running through a fully heated oven, I could feel various parts of my body's skin start to bubble up but we managed to get to an opening where fire wasn't as spread out as where I was before.
Just as I am about to suck in a good breath of cold air, my darling immediately retracts from the front of my face to the back of my neck catching another arrow as it was about to pierce the back of my neck and considering that she was no longer occupied with the raging fire around us, she was able to spot the Arsonist Robin Hood.
Guess who it was, hard to guess huh? It should be, with so many targets on my back I tend to lose track myself sometimes. It was Corpsy, the green faced bastard, my darling caught a glimpse of him perched up on one of the trees away from the forest fire. I had to close the distance on him somehow and quickly, I took cover behind one of the trees as more fiery arrows began to descend on my location, slowly but surely starting yet another forest fire.
With nowhere else to go I began climbing the tree, with my darling helping me out by changing the back of my jacket into 4 sharp tendrils which acted very similarly to that of spider legs, each one stabbing into the wood and helping me ascend the tree at a far greater pace then if I were to do it on my own.
Once I found a branch thick enough to allow me to sit on top of it, I tried to get a look around, but the tree began to give out under the fire that was spreading on the ground. One of the tendrils on my back latched onto another tree and my darling managed to transport me safely onto another tree, which is when it hit me, this is how I was going to close the gap between us. Relaying the idea to my darling, I pierce the skin of my human host as his hand, stump and feet get covered in sharp edged spikes which are the extensions of myself, whilst my darling remains in the form of four tendrils and working together we very quickly begin to get our human host across the forest by jumping from one tree to the other, stabbing deep into the wood to remain above the ground, right towards Corpsy who was too busy reloading a crossbow.
As we closed in on him I shifted my body in such a way that the sharp edged spikes on my feet would impale Corpsy right in the chest, using the momentum to push him off the branch, sending him plummeting to the ground. He was a crafty fucker, right before he hit the ground he got off a shot from his crossbow, sending an arrow directly into my exposed chest, that shit hurt and caused my darling to instantly retract back into jacket form and wrap around the wound to quickly mend it, problem with that is the momentum didn't stop so now I myself was also plummeting towards the ground. Luckily for me, unlike my undead friend, my fall was roughly softened by a bunch of tree branches that I ended up breaking with my body, before hitting the ground.
Using the momentum of the fall I rolled backwards onto my feet, avoiding the end of the arrow touching the ground thus further embedding it within me. Once I regained my balance, I had to quickly deal with said arrow as it's continued presence within my chest made my darling's job of patching up the wound harder. So I yanked it out, it hurt like hell, far more painful then taking bullets out due to the design of the arrow, if you ever wondered why arrows tend to be shaped in the form of a triangle, it's so that when they are inserted in your flesh, when pulled out the sharp ends on the sides will guarantee a very painful extraction by ripping your skin, flesh and nerves to hell.
I however wasn't given the opportunity to savor the pain, because this massive hand reached out towards my face and with great strength grasped my face, and pushed me down to the ground, my darling was busy with the wound so she couldn't warn me of the attack. Corpsy didn't waste his time, as he was holding me down, he was holding a flaming arrow in his other, armored hand, his neck broken and his head hanging off, being held in place only by the rotting flesh, the results of the fall no doubt. He tried stabbing me with said arrow, unlucky for him my hand and stump were free, I caught his descending hand and aimed my stump at his chest and then I erupted a sharp edged spike out of said stump impaling Corpsy yet again and pushing him off of me, the force o the push being strong enough to completely detach his head from his body.
Finally I had the chance to catch my breath, I began to get up not letting the bastards body out of my sight, checking on my wound when suddenly I was interrupted: "How categorically barbarous." It was his detached head that was now at my feet, somehow he was still talking to me, fucking Dead Man Shards, so annoying and hard to get rid of, well if anything I had the chance to at least shut him up, so I morphed a sharp edged spike around my foot and stomped the head into the ground until nothing was left of it but a fleshy porridge.
Getting the chance to observe my wound, my darling had done an amazing job with it, the wound was closed and it's as if there was no injury to begin with, the pain lingered though. I was about to take my leave as the forest fire was spreading further towards my location, but then I noticed Corpsy's headless body begin to get up, irritation was getting the better of me, I figured this was the best opportunity to get rid of this pest for good now that he lacked a head and thus was fairly disoriented. But as fate would have it a fucking deer came running out of the bushes, probably escaping the ensuing forest fire, it ran right past Corpsy's standing body, he latched onto it and allowed it to drag him away with it further into the forest.
Not wanting to lose the opportunity to finish the undead fuck for good I gave chase, that deer must have felt really threatened because it was hauling ass, having my face smacked by a few bushes during the chase I can positively say that I had lost it, furthermore I myself was lost within the deep forest, the road that I was originally driving on long since lost to me. Trying to get my bearings I was about to start climbing one of the trees to have a look around when suddenly I heard quick footsteps of some kind very quickly approaching me from behind. If I was on my own, the attack from behind would have worked, but my darling was no longer occupied with our wound so she was able to entrap our assailant with one of her tendrils coming out of the back of my jacket.
Turning around to face what I had assumed was Corpsy's headless body I was greeted with a shocking sight. My darling had caught the headless body's hand that was wielding a knife, only the headless body was no longer headless, he had fucking removed the deer's head and attached it to his body, shit looked fucking wrong, especially when you consider that it wasn't the only thing that looked wrong, as Corpsy seemed to have borrowed not only the poor deer's head, but also it's back legs attaching them to his human torso, this fucked up sight caught me off guard, I had no idea that he could do the body part swapping trick with animals too.
Using my stupor as an opportunity, the fucker used one of the deer's legs to kick the shit out of my knee, he would have probably outright broken it if it wasn't for the fact that he had kicked it from behind. Regardless the kick packed enough power to throw me off balance and send me down on one knee, after which Corpsy was winding up for a punch with his armored hand, unfortunately for him my darling had warned of said wind up, forming a sharp edged spike around my stump I turned around and managed to lob off the fuckers armored hand right at the wrist.
That move made him not only drop the knife but also cry out in what seemed like pain and considering that ungodly noise was coming out of a decapitated deer's head, well imagine yourself how horrific it must have sounded. Corpsy backed up a bit, giving me a chance to press on the attack, but the fucker was crafty, he backed up so he could lean on his one hand and outright buck me in the chest, the force of which had sent me flying off into a small pit that was just behind the large bushes. The fucking kick had blown all the wind out of my sails so to speak, I was desperately gasping for air while also trying to prevent myself from seeing three moons, I'm pretty sure I had passed out at some point, not sure.
However, once I was able to get my shit together I was shocked to find out that Corpsy didn't jump down after me and finish the job, in fact he had outright left me entirely for some unknown reason, I wasn't complaining as my head was still ringing from the entire altercation, I'm pretty sure between the car explosion and getting bucked, my human host was now suffering from a concussion. But there was no time to worry about that, because I had found it, out here in this deep forest in the middle of fucking nowhere, in this leaf filled pit, were the remains of an ancient, crumbling tower of sorts, it's brick walls covered in all sorts of vegetation, inside the circled, fallen apart walls was an opening that clearly indicated that this bit of the tower used to be a part of a bigger building. It is from that opening that I could feel this overwhelming feeling of sickness, when the wind would blow in my direction through that opening I could instantly smell the stench of rotting, infected flesh which instantly made me want to vomit my guts out.
"Follow the deer" he said, funny fucker.
I left that spot alone for the night, there was no way I was going inside the sick hellhole, first I had to deal with my concussion and overall just let the human body rest, plus I had you lovely readers to update. So I began making my way back to the scene of the fire where there were various fire trucks on the scene, busy handling mine and Corpsy's mess. I hid in the bushes for a while out of sight of the cops that were also there trying to figure out the mystery of the exploded car with no dead bodies inside and once the firefighters had finished their job and began to drive off, I sneakily ran up to one of the fire trucks which were already departing and hitched a ride on it to the closest town in the area. After that I stayed at a hotel and in the morning I went to the local library (Obviously without my bandages and with my hood up) to write up all of this.
Once this is posted I will be departing back to the pit in the forest, my darling remembers the way. And while I am excited, I am also under no impression that I will definitely come back, this very well might be the end of the road for me, a lot of people had ventured into this place, very few managed to come back.
But to be completely honest with you, I like my odds, I mean, if Star can pull it off then what's stopping me from getting out?
Wish me luck!
