Friday, December 27, 2013


I don't know if you people remember, but there was a time when I took a vacation, during that time I went to a pawn shop, to be more precise, I went to visit an old friend of mine, a very wise friend.

Her name is Rose, she is sixty four years old and she is the wisest woman I have ever met. She isn't human, her beauty is above humanity's, only with her I can truly feel like I'm not a part of the game.

I met her completely by accident, when I was not on the board, when I was simply an escaped asylum patient, I just finished murdering an innocent woman, I was on the run and while seeking for refuge, I found comfort i the pawn shop, that I had broken into.

However, she heard me, she is blind, she thought I was a homeless bum, just looking for shelter, she was ready to provide it too. I was amazed at how trusting she was, that was the only reason that prevented me from taking her life, I was intrigued.

As she prepared tea for me and sat down with me, she asked me, what I was doing breaking into her pawn shop. I was never a liar, so I just told her everything, straight out. To my surprise, she didn't panic, nor did she call for help, she was still very warm and welcoming towards me. I was stunned, such a reaction, why? Why was she not panicking. So I asked her, why was she ok with it? I was wrong.

She wasn't ok with it, on the contrary, she is against murder and any other kind of sin, yet she is not the one to interfere in other's paths. She was and still is sure, that some day, I will see the error of my way, I keep telling her that I won't, that this is my way, this is how it is in my way, no other way, pure destruction.

She understands that and believes that in my own twisted way, in my own understanding, destruction brings salvation and in the end, I want nothing but to bring good to this world. She understands that, she see's good even in the worst of us. She is a true saint, a true angel.

I want to visit her one last time, funny thing is, I got my love for tea from her. I don't know what she does, but her tea is fucking amazing.


  1. We all have something good inside of us. For example, you don't lie, and Incognito protects the innocent. As for me, I have one good thing inside me when I breathe, which is air.

    1. You have an ability to makes friends with even the weirdest of individuals. That sounds good to me, Sanna.

    2. You can bring out the best in people who know you.

    3. @Kyle - Or does Kelevra have an ability to make friends with the most mundane of individuals? :D

      @Lovett - Thanks, but as far as Artsyom, Maddie and Incognito are concerned, it seems like I brought out the worst in them, like Artsyom killing by the day, Maddie having become a Nest and then a corpse, and Incognito having that azoth breakout.

    4. Artsyom seems to be a crazy psycho-stalker. Not you bringing out the worst, just a seriously warped mind.
      Maddie became a maenad, because she wanted to be more important. Didn't think of the consequences to other people, when you saw her next she was a nest. Screwed up her mind even more.
      And you can't seriously be blaming yourself for incognito's azoth breakout. That just seems like reaching for a reason you're at fault.

    5. "Crazy psycho-stalker". I'm not crazy. I'm probably a bit of a psycho. I'm not a stalker by any stretch of the word.

    6. Remind me again about your plan to keep killing people so that the person you're fixated on will talk to you?

    7. Killing is a big thing for some people, not all.

      "Fixation", that's generous too. I'm a busy man.

      "Stalker" has a creepy vibe though, I don't think of myself in that way.

    8. And despite being a busy man, you've taken the time to choose civillians, send pictures of them to the victim, and kill them.

      And crazy people don't think they're crazy, that's how you know they're crazy.Applies to stalkers too.

    9. I'm not a stalker. Stalkers follow people. I've had stalkers before and they don't act like me. "Stalkers" are vile and abusive.

    10. So you're in agreement with me?

    11. I'm vile, I guess, but I'm not following her and I'm not abusive.

      Christ, you all are the only people who could accuse me of abandoning and stalking her at the same fucking time.

    12. Abuse can be psychological as well, and I fail to see a way telling a nigh-suicidal girl who already feels deep guilt about deaths that weren't her fault that you'll kill people, keep killing people and it's, all her fault isn't abusive.

  2. She sounds like my mom. She knows I'm a proxy, that I kill people, that I do all of these things she considers sinful and atrocious.

    But it doesn't stop her from loving and supporting me all the same.

    My father? He's just happy I'm not the whiny little bitch I was when I was little.