Oops

So may have jumped to a few conclusions.

So a while ago, back before mine and KnitWolf's death, I asked her for a favor, it was a very important favor, very important to me.

I asked her to hide a very important jar for me at a specific destination, so that when I came back, I would be able to find the jar. Reason I asked her for this very important favor is because at the time, my every move was being tracked by a certain fucker who I made a deal with for access to his domain, which allowed me to travel freely, just like I could when I was using the Path. He could track my every move, except for when I would stop by Knitty's place, her little hiding spot was special, it's as if it was protected by our Pale, Faceless Friend, whatever it was, I was practically invisible to my observer when being there.

The plan was, I give the jar to KnitWolf and she hides it for me at a specific destination after I had left, so that my observer wouldn't interfere.

As you can guess from my previous post, the jar wasn't there, which is what pissed me off. I thought over who could possibly have found it, if nobody else knew about it, but I couldn't figure it out, a scary thought started creeping into my mind, was I played? Did KnitWolf hide the jar somewhere else, so I wouldn't be able to find it? After all, our goals were always in conflict, I want to end this miserable and pointless existence, and all she wanted is to see her "family" safe. Did she screw me over?

I didn't want to believe it, I respected her, but it was the only lead I had. But how could I ask her, if she was dead? Her "Family", surely she would have told them something about this, right?

With that thought process, I booked a plane and traveled over to where Knitty's place was located before. I staked out the city's streets for several nights, finally found them, Hart and Fell, no mistake about it, that blue hair gave her away. They were clearly tracking someone else, some guy, by the looks of him, he was obviously a runner, what an amateur, started going through an empty lot, lots of open space, no people around, what an idiot.

Fell and Hart, I could see them, gearing up, putting their little masks on. As soon as they both finished gearing up, Hart immediately started dashing towards the poor bastard, I took my eyes off of Fell who remained still, in order to follow Hart's actions. The runner obviously heard Hart's footsteps, instead of running right off the bat, the idiot looked back to make sure the footsteps were coming towards him, when he started to turn back around in order to run, he was met with Fell's fist in his face. I didn't even notice how she managed to sneak up on him like that. Fell then proceeded to get on top of him and choke him to death, Hart ran up just in time, as he began to hold down the man's arms so he wouldn't be able to resist, eventually the idiot stopped squirming and died.

Never expected to see Hart high five Fell for murdering someone, considering how uch of a cry baby he was before, time's change I guess.

After that they took off their little masks and began to cross through the lots, out into the open field, heading towards the treeline. I quickly climbed down from my rooftop and began to follow them into the forest, following them through the field and the forest was a pain, shit was much easier when I had access to domains.

Eventually I began to see this big, abandoned house in the middle of this forest that they were heading towards, I figured that this was their point of destination, so I broke off from following them and began to go around to find an alternate way in. Which I did, I quietly sneaked through the building until I could hear their voices, at first I thought they were talking to each other, but there was another voice present, that's when I remembered the third member of Knit's "Family" Whelp, this was the perfect spot to confront them, dark, isolated, nobody would interfere and all of them were here.

I picked up the led pipe that was leaning against the nearby wall, made sure to sneak into the same room as they were in through the back entrance, stuck to the shadows so they wouldn't be able to see me and as soon as I managed to get close, I whacked the fuck out of Fell's skull with the led pipe, making her collapse on the ground, unconscious.

"What the fuck!?" Hart yelled out in obvious shock to the situation, immediately pulling out his crowbar, no doubt ready to throw down.

The plan was, knock out the most stubborn member of this "Family" and interrogate the ones who will easily break and tell me everything I need.

"Damn..." I must admit, it was very enjoyable to smash her over the head, the fact that I didn't have to listen to her run her mouth was a great bonus on top of that "Think I swung too hard?" I stepped out of the shadows, revealing my face to Hart.

"Ohhh Shit..." Was all that Hart could say upon seeing me, it was a satisfying feeling, to know that people still remembered you.

"Oh well, on the bright side, I won't have to deal with her running her mouth." I looked him directly in the eyes, making sure to solidify that I was no fake, that I was the real deal "Heya druggie, how ya been?"

Hart stared me down "What the fuck do you want!?"

From behind him, a familiar voice spoke up, what once was a young, naive and blind girl, who followed an insane priest like a sheep, was now a much older, just as scared, teenage girl, Whelp.

"K-Kelevra?" Even she remembered me, despite us never meeting in person, only in comments of these blogs, oh how I miss those days when I would try to convince her to take out her stupid, little flock that surrounded her at the time.

"Goodness me Hart, watch the language! There's kids here." I made sure to give her a friendly wave, after all, what am I? If not polite. But as much as I enjoyed saying hello, it was time to get down to business "As to what I want? Just to ask a question is all."

Hart's reaction to my query was a mocking snort, he wasn't taking this seriously, which is something he would soon begin to regret "Fine. Ask your question and leave."

I reminded Hart of mine and Knitty's little agreement before getting to the problem, which was the fact that the Jar was not there.

That made Hart smirk, that stupid, little smirk of his, oh how I would enjoy wiping it off of his face "Well that sucks for you doesn't it?" The ignorance, the lack of understanding of what was at stake, his tone was pissing me off "Wolf told me that she hid it right where you asked, so I don't know what you want from me."

I was not amused, in fact, in reality, I was fuming on the inside, which is what could have been clouding my judgment at the time "See, I don't really believe you. She could have fucked me over ‘cause she might have seen me as a threat to you and Fell, so now you could be jerking me around and I don't like that." Regardless, I was ready to throw down, as I morphed a sharp edged end from my jacket's sleeve.

"Of course she saw you as a threat. But she respected you for some reason, so she did what you asked" He was no better than Fell, just kept on running his mouth, boy how times have changed. "She did that for you, so shut your fucking mouth and leave."

Ah, now he was getting frustrated, now things were getting a bit more serious "Oh Hart, you know the reason I knocked her ass out is because I knew she would refuse to say anything, but it seems like you're the same way now." I formed the second sharp edged end with my other sleeve "A pity, really, I didn't want to, but I guess I'm simply going to have to beat the answer out of you."

Hart caught me by surprise as he instantly began running and swinging at me with his crowbar, the minus of not having Fortissimo be with me, is she doesn't act as my instinctive shield anymore, when we were together, she would always react to any potential harm comings towards us faster than me and would protect me. Now without her, I had to rely on my instincts and reflexes, I managed to duck away from Hart's crowbar, but not fast enough, the crowbar ended up grazing my head.

The hit was strong enough to get me off balance, managed to used the momentum to spin back around and launched tendril out of my sleeve at him. Was able to hit and cut him in the side, I heard him gasp in pain, now we were getting somewhere, I began to retract my tendril but was abruptly stopped, somebody was yanking my tendril to the side, away from Hart.

"Stop!" The young voice yelled out, it was Whelp, she was the one yanking my tendril to the side, with her own tendrils, I completely forgot that KnitWolf passed her a piece of her own Azoth before she died. Her tendrils were causing a burning sensation, which was growing the longer her Azoth remained attached to mine. Remembering that this piece of Azoth within Whelp at some point belonged to Knitty, I got an idea, an alternative way to getting my answers.

My thought process was cut short by Hart, who too the opportunity to swing his crowbar at the tendril which was being yanked away, exactly where my arm was located. The hit connected and it only intensified the burning sensation, it hurt like hell, but it didn't matter, because now I had a  new plan.

"Alright Harty, change of plans!" Had to slow the stubborn ass long enough for me to make my move, first thing's first, had to take away his weapon. I made the tendril that he hit grow out several smaller tendrils and grab the crowbar, make it get stuck to my sleeve. As I was doing that, I sent out another tendril from the back of my jacket, through the cracks in the ground, towards Whelp. As the small tendril reached Whelp, I made it pop out of the ground, piercing her foot. Whelp screamed out in pain as her own Azoth (Stitch) began to lift her off my tendril and push her away, the scream got Hart's attention, forcing him to take drastic action, which was an attempt from him to kick my legs.

However, as Whelp was being pushed away by her Azoth, naturally she began yanking me to the side even more, I stopped resisting and let the momentum pull me to the side, making Hart miss with his kick, but I knew I had to slow him down even more, so I planted my feet into the ground, stopping the momentum of the pull and sent out a tendril from my other sleeve at his leg, it was a direct hit, piercing his leg, that was enough.

I turned back to Whelp and began running towards her, retracting my tendril from Hart's leg. As I ran towards her, she sent her own tendrils at me, there was no room to dodge, momentum was on my side, I had to get to her as quickly as possible, so I had to let her tendrils pierce me. Every hit delivered excruciating pain, the burning sensation all over my body, I forgot how pain felt like, a refreshing reminder.

But it didn't stop me, eventually I reached her, I grabbed her neck with my free hand, this was it, finally some answers.

"Relax brat, I just want to ask a question." I sent out a small tendril from my sleeve into her nose, this was it, I finally got to ask her some questions, to confirm if I was deceived. It felt so strange, knowing that you are not all there, that you are somewhere else, whilst knowing that you are also left standing there, like a mindless husk, I'm still getting used to this revival, wish Fortissimo was with me, to guide me...

I got my answer, it was painful, I retracted my tendril from Whelp's nose with immense pain, no surprise, I was invading her home turf, of course I'd be kicked out in such a painful manner, my head was burning up, I wanted to comfort it with my free hand, but as I raised my arm to my head, I felt some sort of force pushing me to the side.

It was Hart, he tried to hit me in the head with his crowbar, however he ended up hitting my arm, the arm I tried to use to comfort my already burning head. I fell down, had to roll over, get some distance from Hart, the pain in my head was blinding "You bitch, you hurt me!"

Once the pain had passed a little, I could concentrate, I saw Hart walking towards me with his crowbar, a killers intent in his eyes, don't think I ever expected to see Hart so pissed, I have to tell you Harty, I like this new attitude. I rolled away from him yet again, sending tendrils out into the ground, which I then used to push me upwards on my feet.

I made a mistake, Knitty didn't deceive me, I was wrong, to further prolong the fight would be pointless. "Calm down, I got what I wanted. Turns out, you were telling the truth" All I could offer was a shrug, since I doubt he would take my apology "Woops"

From then on we parted ways. While this was a detour, it was a very important one, I needed to absolutely make sure that I was not deceived, glad to see that wasn't the case, I respect Knitty and it would hurt me greatly if she would use my respect for her against me. However, I do feel that I may have potentially burnt a bridge with her after this, which I've done with others whom I liked before, it's par for the course at this point, sacrifices must be made.

And even thought I still have no idea who might have stolen the jar, it's good to be back on track regardless.

Enough Philosophizing, on with the Planning.

So as I've said previously, I've changed a lot since my return and my priorities have switched up a lot. See, before my untimely demise, I was unfocused, all over the place, hopping from one "project" to another, without sometimes even finishing the previous one I would start, or simply ending it abruptly. There seemed to be so many distractions in the way, preventing me from focusing on my end goal, I blame it all on the lack of socializing due to being locked up in an asylum for the majority of my life, imagine all those years, wasting your time doing nothing but starring at white walls, of course as soon as I start talking to people, I become curious and willing to postpone my plans to explore and learn.

And there were so many distractions too: Learning that I am a human being who is capable of emotion, thanks to my very strange friendship with Minxie; Finding out that there are people out there who are just as willing to do anything to protect their goals, like how Knitty was willing to sacrifice anything to protect her "family"; And arguably, the biggest distraction... him... my bizarre fascination with him...

And throughout all of those experiences, there was one constant, the ability to share my new findings with her, my special darling, the love of my life, Fortissimo. She was always there for me, sharing every little thing I would learn about myself, about the world, about her, about us.

So naturally, that is the first part of my long and meticulous plan, is to get back together with her. That's right, we've been separated the moment I was killed off, the plan was, once I return, I would find her once more and we would join together once again, like before. But someone decided to interfere with that plan, since I couldn't find her anywhere, it's so weird, thinking about something and not having here there to share my thoughts with, I don't like that feeling, it's a distraction, a distraction that needs to be quenched.

Plus, I promised her the front seat view to the end of the world, I promised her that we would be there, to enjoy the view together, I am not going back on my promise to her.

Whoever took her away from me, they will regret that decision, no doubt they are reading this blog right now, to keep an eye on me, to know what I might know. Well whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever your motives, I will find you, I will hurt you, I will re-join with her and then, I will let her do whatever she wants with you.

Be afraid, be very FUCKING afraid.

Silence is so disappointing

So let me get this straight, I die for 4 years and everybody, all of a sudden begin to drop off the face of the earth? I mean, obviously Carter would still be around, I'm also really glad to see that Minxie is still here as well and there are a few, new players that have been introduced to the game. But overall, a lot of pieces seem to have dropped off, or just went silent.

Which is disappointing, the whole purpose of running their little blogs was to be able to socialize with people who are in the same situation, that you are in, right? Or maybe to document your memories? Or simply put, just to have fun. Back before my death, I made a post about how this little game has changed so much, the post was based off of a question that Morningstar was pondering at the time on his post which was, where were all of those brave heroes who were willing to fight back against their inevitable demise? In my post, I analyzed the state of the game at the time and how it has changed so much, that there were no more heroic pieces on the board, none of the people who were running, were fighting back anymore like in the old days. Only a few like Med, Annalee, Alex and... him... were putting up a fight, everyone else? Either sitting on the sidelines, or simply surviving for the sake of survival, not looking for any solutions to their problems, no. Now, the board was loaded with dark pieces, the only pieces that were willing to do whatever they could to achieve their goals despite the fact that they were being hunted by very powerful beings at the same time, pieces like: Morningstar, Redlight, Knitwolf and yours truly. There were no more heroes on the board, only villains, sometimes fighting amongst each other, sometimes working together, it was so much fun.

And now that I come back 4 years later, the game has turned yet again, now, almost everybody's gone!

KnitWolf is dead and her companions: Hart and Fell are doing, whatever they are doing in silence, part of me is glad that they didn't die and that Hart seems to have been able to pull Fell out of her self destructive path, but part of me can't shake this feeling that the reason for this prolonged silence, is because they are doing nothing, not continuing the Wolf's work, just darting from one place to the other, surviving, being non-factors. They are welcome to prove me wrong, if they somehow see this.

My good ol' friend Sanna is still around and it looks like she started dabbling in a little bit of research here and there, nice to see someone trying to do SOMETHING about their current predicament. I also like the attitude change, she comes off more ruthless than before, as I said Minxie, 4 years is a long time, I wonder how much you've changed? Are you still a protector? But what do you care the pondering of a faker, right?

Morningstar just disappeared, which is disappointing, considering the fact that he is a programmable puppet. I really hope that his silence is due to his owners deciding to put him on the shelf for the time being, or something and that it wasn't a complete personality wipe for him, which would mean that he is now a mindless husk, walking around somewhere. That would be so disappointing if that's what his reward was for ridding the world of Redlight yet again, with the help of some "friends". However, there is still hope for him to resurface, because, apparently, after the whole Redlight debacle, he became a part of some sort of team, but they've been inactive for 3 years now, looks like it, so fuck knows where Skywalker is today and if he is even himself.

And so many others, just disappeared, nobody there to bend the rules of the game any longer, it's all just so depressing. Even the dynamics have changed, the whole Proxy organization system is gone, fell apart, imploded in on itself. Severed party members running around, trying to salvage whatever they can, a lot of people dying in their attempts to run away from it all, inner fighting for control and backstabbing, everything's a mess and is in chaos, seems like the perfect time to return, right?

Right, so here I am, however, I changed as well, drastically and now, instead of simply bending the rules, I'm planning on setting the board itself on fire, my long lasting dream, I finally know a way of how to achieve it, an old friend showed me, during his last minutes and I intend to cash in on his findings. But before I can set the plan in motion, I need to prepare, which will take time, a lot of time, a lot of things to do, to retrieve and hopefully, a lot of new people to meet along the way, whether they will stand in my support, or in opposition, maybe I'll be able to run into some of the old faces mentioned above, wouldn't that be fun?

But no worries, I will keep you, those who care to check this blog, updated until the very end. After all, it is through this blogging business that I was able to make friends and to simply put it, it's just fun and is a good time spender.