As the title says, I'm bound to the bed for a couple of weeks, why you ask? I was leading a line of attacks on proxy warehouses all over The US, obviously a certain someone would interfere, seeing as his men were falling like dominoes.
So me and Gorinich, spreading havoc and shit, blowing shit up, killing, infiltrating and suddenly, in the middle of slaughtering a dozen of proxies in one of their warehouses, Marshmallow himself appears, behind the same mentioned proxies, some of them bow down as soon as they see him like a bunch of idiots, others just stand in confusion, me and Gorinich? Fuck dat shit!
Gorinich starts pouncing the proxies that are bowing down, I started attacking them as well, slowly making my way towards Marshmallow Man, if I wasn't too busy splattering proxy brains left and right, I swear I could see Marshmallow Man doing the same thing, he was just picking them up one by one and throwing them left and right, some he crushed, others just ripped apart, heh poor puppies.
To my surprise, Gorinich was making it faster than me, eventually he had a clearing to go at Marshmallow Man himself, he just pounced like a fucking animal across the whole warehouse, ready to stab the ever lasting crap out of Marshmallow Man, but he was caught with one of his many tentacles and proceeded to what seemed like crushing Gorinich, while Gorinich was thrashing left and right, his attention was immediately caught by Marshmallow Man's blank face, shortly after that, he started screaming, holding his head and screaming, I knew what he was doing, a thing he does to a lot of proxies in which he sees potential, he did it to me when we first met.
Gorinich handled it better than me, he started stabbing into one of the tentacles that was holding him, Marshmallow's response was a head tilt and shortly after that, simply threw Gorinich to the side, like a toy that he just got tired of playing with.
It was my turn, at this point all the proxies are panicking, running, clawing for their lives, they don't give two shits about attacking me, all they care about is surviving. It was too crowded, so I asked my darling Fortissimo to put two tentacles against the ground under my feet and lift me into the air, on he's head level, she did so with no problem, darling.
I quickly caught his attention, that one minute stare down was fun, he's blank face and my smiling face, must have looked awesome from the side. Next thing I do, I need to get his attention and I do, by showing him my tongue and flipping him off, head tilt, as always. After that Fortissimo lowers me down and we run outside into the alley, and thats when we meet him, nobody around us, nobody screaming, yelling, running between us, me and him.
He was starring at me, I knew what my reaction was supposed, to be, I was supposed to collapse to my knees, he would start singing and then talking to me, it would hurt, like a bitch, but I didn't, I'm immune to that shit, my darling Fortissimo, one of the things that he is made of, his "Family" turned against him, I can hear only her voice.
I could feel it, he didn't expect it, he was getting pissed the fuck off, nothing new right? Wrong. People saw him getting pissed off because they failed him or some shiz, he would start flailing his tentacles around and become violent. Here, it was different, he was pissed for a different reason, he was pissed because he couldn't control me, he couldn't hurt me, he could kill me, but that wouldn't bring him any pleasure like it usually does. I can't be hurt, he knew that and I knew that, he also didn't know how to locate us, we outsmarted him, that also pissed him off and I swear to God, it was so enjoyable.
After that, he started attacking me, his tentacles, slowly appearing from his back, arms spreading into sides, I got ready. He sent them to come at me, they were flowing at me with such speed, my eye couldn't focus on them, but my darling, Fortissimo, she could, she stopped all those tentacles, she was holding them off an inch from my body, it was hard for her, but she was managing, what I didn't expect, was for his arms to fucking extend, that is a thing he rarely...fuck it, he never does that. They came at such speed, faster than his tentacles, this time my darling was not fast enough, he ended up piercing me right the fuck through the area where you have appendix, his hand went in and went out the other side.
I could see Azoth dripping from the wound, his and mine, I didn't feel it, but I could tell the injury was serious, he then retracted his arm back, with me being pulled towards him, his tentacles disappearing, my Fortissimo concentrating on protecting my body from the inside. Again we were face to uh...no face? He was scanning my face, looking for traces of pain, you couldn't see it by his facial expression, its...I can't even explain it, its a feeling you get.
As he saw the absence of pain, he got pissed off, and was about to probably decapitate my head with one of his rising tentacles in the back, I said fuck that and told Fortissimo to wrap around my hand making a sharp end, making the tentacle wrap around that sharp end, at the same time telling her to wrap around my other hand to make another sharp end and go right for his faceless face.
I didn't exactly pierce it through, that thing is soft, but at the same time hard as fucking brick, but I did make Azoth come out of his head, which was more than enough for my enjoyment, but that was not what I was trying to do, I was trying to get away, I told Fortissimo to extend against his skull, making me get off of his fucking arm that was still inside of me, pushing me away from him, giving me enough distance to escape. He attempted to follow me through The Path, but couldn't, simply because Egle was ready to transport my ass on out of there through her "Path". Something Marshmallow Man can't track us through.
And that is why I'm bound to the bed, not because I'm heavily injured, or I'm in pain, but because Egle and Fortissimo insisted on me staying in bed, and letting them both mend my wounds, Fortissimo from the inside, Egle from the outside, so yup, stuck here for now, also, Gorinich got retrieved as soon as me and Marshmallow left the building by Egle. She is our escape plan. He is alright, nothing a good meal couldn't fix and I believe a fat ass proxy was just the meal he needed.
So since I'm in bed, Koschey and Gorinich are the ones infiltrating for now. I hate being sick, so frikin' boring, but hey, to sense his anger on such extreme, you know, it was worth it.
What if nobody showed up at Armageddon?
Friday, July 12, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Therapy Session #1
Evening,
Seeing as I have some free time right now, Gorinich and Koschey are doing all the work right now, I'm catching a breather, not that I need one, but Egle insisted along with Fortissimo, something about serious injuries blah blah blah.
Lately I haven't been doing my duty as a psychologist and an artist which is a darn pity, because there are so many talented patients here, that it is a pity I do not expose their artistic minds, that I do not put them to the test, so starting today, we will have these little therapy sessions.
So far I have in mind three kinds of therapy sessions: Picture Therapy, Audio Therapy, Written Therapy.
Picture therapy is similar to the process of showing ink splatters to a patient and asking him what he sees, only I won't be showing ink splatters, that is too simple and stupid, no, what I'll be doing is uploading a picture and asking you the meaning behind it, the way you understand it, the story behind this picture, and I don't want a half assed answer in the comment like "That means this and this means that." I want you to tell me a story, a whole story.
Audio Therapy is me uploading an audio track and asking you what do you see when you listen to it (Suggested to do this with your eyes closed) again no half assed answers, a whole story is in order.
Written Therapy (Probably going to be the most rare one) is when I write a story and you tell me the meaning behind it, what it describes and so on.
And no worries, anyone who wants to can participate, there are no correct answers, there are only answers, so don't be shy, or afraid to tell us what story you see behind this piece, what meaning it conveys and so on...
Why am I doing this? Again as I said, there are many artistic minds that sit behind these screens and I want to expose to their fullest, I would continue doing patient analysis, but I got bored of doing that a while ago, so let us begin.
Tell me, what do you see and what in your opinion is the meaning behind what you see in this picture:
As an example I will first convey what I see and the meaning behind it for me:
Time is a cruel mistress, as a child you dream about becoming a pilot, or an astronaut, or a firefighter, police officer and so on...
But when you grow up, when you start observing, noticing how cruel the world is, how corrupt everything is, what horrible acts people are capable of, it takes an effect, it starts to slowly chip away at your humanity, your life.
And thus, you do not become what you wanted, because you've been told by the rules of this world that you can not get that career, that it is impossible, you better abandon it, or you might end up on the streets, a bum.
So you abandon your dreams because you believe what everyone tells you, because you believe the masses, because you are afraid to take on the opinion of others simply because there are millions of them telling you the same thing.
And you end up working at an office, at first the job is fine, it pays good, colleagues are nice and the place is nice and warm, but after some time, you start to notice that you are doing the same thing over and over again every single day, you get up, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, dress into your black and white clothing and waste your whole day stuck in a big cube, inside of that cube you sit inside another cube, constantly starring into another cube.
You start to live your life in a cube, the building you live, inside of it your apartment, the building you work at, inside of it your office, inside of the office the monitor you stare into, your humanity is slowly escaping you, you become enslaved, giving up your last bits of freedom (The Feather), your last bit of humanity (The Perishing Body).
And then, you die, and then you get buried in another cube that is your coffin.
So that is what I see, so now its your turn, also it is important for you to connect items that are shown in this picture, like I did by pointing out that Freedom is a Feather and Humanity is That Perishing Body in the picture that is holding the feather.
So patients, begin.
Seeing as I have some free time right now, Gorinich and Koschey are doing all the work right now, I'm catching a breather, not that I need one, but Egle insisted along with Fortissimo, something about serious injuries blah blah blah.
Lately I haven't been doing my duty as a psychologist and an artist which is a darn pity, because there are so many talented patients here, that it is a pity I do not expose their artistic minds, that I do not put them to the test, so starting today, we will have these little therapy sessions.
So far I have in mind three kinds of therapy sessions: Picture Therapy, Audio Therapy, Written Therapy.
Picture therapy is similar to the process of showing ink splatters to a patient and asking him what he sees, only I won't be showing ink splatters, that is too simple and stupid, no, what I'll be doing is uploading a picture and asking you the meaning behind it, the way you understand it, the story behind this picture, and I don't want a half assed answer in the comment like "That means this and this means that." I want you to tell me a story, a whole story.
Audio Therapy is me uploading an audio track and asking you what do you see when you listen to it (Suggested to do this with your eyes closed) again no half assed answers, a whole story is in order.
Written Therapy (Probably going to be the most rare one) is when I write a story and you tell me the meaning behind it, what it describes and so on.
And no worries, anyone who wants to can participate, there are no correct answers, there are only answers, so don't be shy, or afraid to tell us what story you see behind this piece, what meaning it conveys and so on...
Why am I doing this? Again as I said, there are many artistic minds that sit behind these screens and I want to expose to their fullest, I would continue doing patient analysis, but I got bored of doing that a while ago, so let us begin.
Tell me, what do you see and what in your opinion is the meaning behind what you see in this picture:
As an example I will first convey what I see and the meaning behind it for me:
Time is a cruel mistress, as a child you dream about becoming a pilot, or an astronaut, or a firefighter, police officer and so on...
But when you grow up, when you start observing, noticing how cruel the world is, how corrupt everything is, what horrible acts people are capable of, it takes an effect, it starts to slowly chip away at your humanity, your life.
And thus, you do not become what you wanted, because you've been told by the rules of this world that you can not get that career, that it is impossible, you better abandon it, or you might end up on the streets, a bum.
So you abandon your dreams because you believe what everyone tells you, because you believe the masses, because you are afraid to take on the opinion of others simply because there are millions of them telling you the same thing.
And you end up working at an office, at first the job is fine, it pays good, colleagues are nice and the place is nice and warm, but after some time, you start to notice that you are doing the same thing over and over again every single day, you get up, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, dress into your black and white clothing and waste your whole day stuck in a big cube, inside of that cube you sit inside another cube, constantly starring into another cube.
You start to live your life in a cube, the building you live, inside of it your apartment, the building you work at, inside of it your office, inside of the office the monitor you stare into, your humanity is slowly escaping you, you become enslaved, giving up your last bits of freedom (The Feather), your last bit of humanity (The Perishing Body).
And then, you die, and then you get buried in another cube that is your coffin.
So that is what I see, so now its your turn, also it is important for you to connect items that are shown in this picture, like I did by pointing out that Freedom is a Feather and Humanity is That Perishing Body in the picture that is holding the feather.
So patients, begin.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Hello my...my name is Mark anQFqT g SE
Hello my name is Mark Gordimer, and I'm a proxy, I am currently being kept captive by the amazing Kelevra, he just told me to say that he is currently, forcing me to write this post up, which is true and that, that little mess up, up there was me trying to resist typing this post and because of that he ended up stabbing me in the back with one of the tentacles that came from his jacVGEghiae
Fortissimo, his beautiful Fortissimo.
The reason why he is forcing me to do this? He wants all the proxies and servants to know that his little operation has begun.QE#hywhwjW
Execuse that last part, he just clutched the keyboard real hard with his hand when I pierced his back with another tentacle and threw him aside from the desk.
Man I tell you that Gorinich is a good boy, ripped the guy apart from the inside and I do mean it, shoved two of his wrist blades into his stomach, started shoving them back and forth until his torso fell off completely...and now he's munching on the poor bastard's dead body, man such a mess. On the bright side, now I know what he eats.
So yes, as you can see our little operation, eliminate servants has began, and we already took out a line of warehouses in the city, as well as a number of police departments with undercover proxies working there, no offence proxies, but you are the only guys that appear on our radar so far.
Suffice to say, we are having a blast!
Have a good day, until we ruin it of course.
Hello my name is Mark Gordimer, and I'm a proxy, I am currently being kept captive by the amazing Kelevra, he just told me to say that he is currently, forcing me to write this post up, which is true and that, that little mess up, up there was me trying to resist typing this post and because of that he ended up stabbing me in the back with one of the tentacles that came from his jacVGEghiae
Fortissimo, his beautiful Fortissimo.
The reason why he is forcing me to do this? He wants all the proxies and servants to know that his little operation has begun.QE#hywhwjW
Execuse that last part, he just clutched the keyboard real hard with his hand when I pierced his back with another tentacle and threw him aside from the desk.
Man I tell you that Gorinich is a good boy, ripped the guy apart from the inside and I do mean it, shoved two of his wrist blades into his stomach, started shoving them back and forth until his torso fell off completely...and now he's munching on the poor bastard's dead body, man such a mess. On the bright side, now I know what he eats.
So yes, as you can see our little operation, eliminate servants has began, and we already took out a line of warehouses in the city, as well as a number of police departments with undercover proxies working there, no offence proxies, but you are the only guys that appear on our radar so far.
Suffice to say, we are having a blast!
Have a good day, until we ruin it of course.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Aces of Rejects, Member #4: Gorinich
Name: ???
Age: ???
Sex/Gender: Male (I think)
Occupation: Ex-Maenad
Weapon: Two blades surgically attached to his wrists.
Tittle: Leaper
Favorite Line: Growling and Snarling like an animal
Theme Song: Aphex Twin - Beetles
Special "Talent": Enhanced (Very) Agility, Enhanced (Very) Strength, Leaps for really far distances.
Bio: Not much is known about Gorinich, for one I have no idea how he ended up being a Maenad (Rake's Servant), I don't even know for a fact that he is a Maenad. But he sure acts like it, he walks on all fours at all times, acts like a wild animal, his strength is unbelievably high, agility is also unbelievably high and his body has been fucked up to the point where he almost looks like The Rake, keyword being "Almost". One thing that stands out are these two blades sticking out of his wrists, well I know for a fact that Gorinich was a Surgeon in the past, which would explain how the blades are attached to his wrists, he may have attached them by himself, before his human mind completely collapsed. What do I mean by that? Well Gorinich can't talk, he can't behave like a human, in other words, he acts like an animal, he probably is. So how could I come into terms with a creature that can't understand me, I didn't, you see he acts like an animal, that means he can be trained and somehow Egle was able to befriend him. To be short, he is like her little pet, or something like that, so it is natural that when Egle joined my group, that Gorinich would do so also.
Fighting Style: No fucking idea, he just usually leaps onto his victims and rips them apart with his blades.
Main Goal: Following Egle's goals.
Status in The Team: Infiltrator.
Age: ???
Sex/Gender: Male (I think)
Occupation: Ex-Maenad
Weapon: Two blades surgically attached to his wrists.
Tittle: Leaper
Favorite Line: Growling and Snarling like an animal
Theme Song: Aphex Twin - Beetles
Special "Talent": Enhanced (Very) Agility, Enhanced (Very) Strength, Leaps for really far distances.
Bio: Not much is known about Gorinich, for one I have no idea how he ended up being a Maenad (Rake's Servant), I don't even know for a fact that he is a Maenad. But he sure acts like it, he walks on all fours at all times, acts like a wild animal, his strength is unbelievably high, agility is also unbelievably high and his body has been fucked up to the point where he almost looks like The Rake, keyword being "Almost". One thing that stands out are these two blades sticking out of his wrists, well I know for a fact that Gorinich was a Surgeon in the past, which would explain how the blades are attached to his wrists, he may have attached them by himself, before his human mind completely collapsed. What do I mean by that? Well Gorinich can't talk, he can't behave like a human, in other words, he acts like an animal, he probably is. So how could I come into terms with a creature that can't understand me, I didn't, you see he acts like an animal, that means he can be trained and somehow Egle was able to befriend him. To be short, he is like her little pet, or something like that, so it is natural that when Egle joined my group, that Gorinich would do so also.
Fighting Style: No fucking idea, he just usually leaps onto his victims and rips them apart with his blades.
Main Goal: Following Egle's goals.
Status in The Team: Infiltrator.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Miss Me?
I sure as hell did, I'm back bitches!
So where was I all this time? Welp believe it, or not I was taking a vacation and before any of you mindless people start saying "Oh great he went on a killing, or a corpse fucking spree" nope.
I visited an antique shop and stayed there for about two weeks, the woman that works there, magical woman. Helps out anyone (Morally), doesn't matter if you're the most horrible person on this planet, or the most noble of all. All that matters to her is helping (Again, morally).
I visit her once a year, swear to God, she never ages. We sat around, drank tea, I ate some of her cooked meals (De-fucking-licious!), we talked about random things. Ah that woman is a saint, also any of you proxies, or other pathetic little doggies on leashes try to locate her and kill her, just to tick me off, good luck, the antique shop is no simple place, and if you go through her doors with bad intentions, you end up in a completely different and awful place.
Anyways, so what have me and my group been up to recently, well its simple really, we are eliminating Servant organizations, not Only proxy organizations, we eliminate all of Fear's servants organizations, currently we are busy trying to locate as many bases as we can here in USA, shouldn't be too hard.
So yeah, that's all I'm really doing right now.
Good to be back.
So where was I all this time? Welp believe it, or not I was taking a vacation and before any of you mindless people start saying "Oh great he went on a killing, or a corpse fucking spree" nope.
I visited an antique shop and stayed there for about two weeks, the woman that works there, magical woman. Helps out anyone (Morally), doesn't matter if you're the most horrible person on this planet, or the most noble of all. All that matters to her is helping (Again, morally).
I visit her once a year, swear to God, she never ages. We sat around, drank tea, I ate some of her cooked meals (De-fucking-licious!), we talked about random things. Ah that woman is a saint, also any of you proxies, or other pathetic little doggies on leashes try to locate her and kill her, just to tick me off, good luck, the antique shop is no simple place, and if you go through her doors with bad intentions, you end up in a completely different and awful place.
Anyways, so what have me and my group been up to recently, well its simple really, we are eliminating Servant organizations, not Only proxy organizations, we eliminate all of Fear's servants organizations, currently we are busy trying to locate as many bases as we can here in USA, shouldn't be too hard.
So yeah, that's all I'm really doing right now.
Good to be back.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Aces of Rejects, Member #3: Queen Egle
Name: Sandra Mullins (Egle)
Age: ???
Sex/Gender: Female
Occupation: Ex-Lilim
Weapon: Katana, Anything can get her hands on.
Tittle: Queen
Favorite Line: Come closer darling.
Theme Song: Emilie Autumn - I Know Where You Sleep
Special "Talent": Shape shifting, Enhanced Agility, Enhanced Strength, Even though she is made of bones, she can bend her body in such ways, that it seems the bones are practically absent, her body can bend so much, that she can fit herself in a small box, or vent.
Bio: Dear Sandra was once a simple punk girl, she was going to rock concerts and such, learning wasn't really going well, but at that time, she didn't really need it. One day she gets kidnapped by some guys, raped and sold into prostitution slavery. There she is bought out by a satanist, he leads her to a satanistic cult and along with other women that the satanistic cult has bought out, makes her strip dance on top of a fence that is on fire. If you didn't move, you're feet got burnt to hell, so you really had no choice, but dance non stop for the satanistic perverts. One day, dear Sandra looks at a mirror, sees herself, feels the disgust, hatred, fear boil up inside of her and then she sees The Mother of Snakes. Slowly she becomes her servant, and is then allowed to take revenge, once she takes her revenge, she realizes she has no purpose, so she abandons The Mother of Snakes and joins my group, she sees the point in my goal, she agrees with it and she wants to help, I'm not one to deny assistance.
Fighting Style: Kapoeira.
Main Goal: Helping me with my goal.
Status in The Team: Espionage, since she can make herself look like any human being, she can gain trust of other servants, or runners.
And that is our dear Egle, she calls herself Egle, because it is a Lithuanian Fairy Tale about a girl who marries The King of Snakes and becomes The Queen, but is then later killed by the same said snakes and king.
Age: ???
Sex/Gender: Female
Occupation: Ex-Lilim
Weapon: Katana, Anything can get her hands on.
Tittle: Queen
Favorite Line: Come closer darling.
Theme Song: Emilie Autumn - I Know Where You Sleep
Special "Talent": Shape shifting, Enhanced Agility, Enhanced Strength, Even though she is made of bones, she can bend her body in such ways, that it seems the bones are practically absent, her body can bend so much, that she can fit herself in a small box, or vent.
Bio: Dear Sandra was once a simple punk girl, she was going to rock concerts and such, learning wasn't really going well, but at that time, she didn't really need it. One day she gets kidnapped by some guys, raped and sold into prostitution slavery. There she is bought out by a satanist, he leads her to a satanistic cult and along with other women that the satanistic cult has bought out, makes her strip dance on top of a fence that is on fire. If you didn't move, you're feet got burnt to hell, so you really had no choice, but dance non stop for the satanistic perverts. One day, dear Sandra looks at a mirror, sees herself, feels the disgust, hatred, fear boil up inside of her and then she sees The Mother of Snakes. Slowly she becomes her servant, and is then allowed to take revenge, once she takes her revenge, she realizes she has no purpose, so she abandons The Mother of Snakes and joins my group, she sees the point in my goal, she agrees with it and she wants to help, I'm not one to deny assistance.
Fighting Style: Kapoeira.
Main Goal: Helping me with my goal.
Status in The Team: Espionage, since she can make herself look like any human being, she can gain trust of other servants, or runners.
And that is our dear Egle, she calls herself Egle, because it is a Lithuanian Fairy Tale about a girl who marries The King of Snakes and becomes The Queen, but is then later killed by the same said snakes and king.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Not Such a Bad Person and Psychology.
Welp, my little therapy session with Minxie comes to a closure, truly those were some fun months, the thrill of how you would end up, amazing! I could list everything that has happened, but I think Minxie did it better than me, I would like to explain a few aspects of this therapy we had.
But before I start explaining a few things, I would like to say, Minxie, you surprised me. Honestly, when I first saw your blog, I thought "Well this is boring" but then I started to notice, something makes me keep coming back to your blog, didn't take me long to understand what it was, your curiosity, that same curiosity is the reason why I consider you to be a friend, but more about that later.
So what was the purpose of the Therapy, it had nothing but good intentions, of course the way to achieve them was...questionable to some, but that is because none of you understood, now I will try to explain. I said countless times that I wanted to help Minxie find out what kind of person she is, to let her find out her limits, where she was standing in all of this, when you know those things, your survival chances increase drastically, you start thinking much more clearer.
At first, I thought this therapy was to come to an end when she would make her first kill, but when I saw the lack of emotion, I figured it out, she didn't feel anything, because her emotions were not fixated on that person, they were fixated on Snowblind. I needed to expand those emotions, I needed to turn them into pure hatred, so she would be able to find out what kind of person she is, after she had killed Snowy.
There is a theory I've been using behind all of this, and that theory is rather simple. You see, lots of people think that they are "good", but why do they assume that? You know why? They are afraid, afraid that if they do something "bad" they will go to prison, or hell, or some place. So they automatically assume the role of a good person out of fear and as we all know, anything that is done out of fear has no moral value whatsoever. The only way to determine what kind of person you are, is to commit the most horrendous sin, to kill someone and if after you kill someone, you feel tremendous guilt, you're a good person. But if you feel nothing and even at some point, enjoyment, then you are a horrible person, but that doesn't mean you're not human. This is why I told Minxie that she is a horrible person, just like me, she didn't feel any ounce of guilt after she had killed Snowflake, but she understood, that wasn't the end of her humanity, now she knows what she is capable of.
The reason why I wanted to help her out? While it is true, that I was interested in how she would end up, I was doing all of that, because I considered her to be my friend. You see, her questions, her curiosity, showed interest in me, before Minxie, the only one I could talk to was Azoth, at first I payed no attention to that, but then a realization came. It is pretty depressing, when the only thing that is interested in you and understands you is not even human, makes you feel like you're not a human, made me forget that I was human and I was fully convinced that I was a monster. But then Minxie comes along and starts taking interest in my fascinations, at some point she even starts to understand me, that brought back the feeling of humanity, she reminded me that I was a human, a horrible, but a human non the less. As much as we want to deny it, we are all human, even if we have supernatural talents.
So, I guess I have this to say, thank you Minxie, you reminded me of something important, although I bleed Azoth, I am still made out of human meat and organs and I can easily die, that I am human.
Now for some psychology, originally I was going to make this post a simple explanation to my motives behind Minxie's therapy. But there's another person I need to address, pHIL. For this part, you need to read his post, in order to understand what this is all about.
Mr. Mcdonalds here constantly implied that I am a psychopath and today he made this silly chart of his to prove his point. Problem with that is, he knows diddly squat about me, so he can't really determine anything. Now all of you can easily turn that around on me and say "But uncle Kelevra, you did almost the same analysis on us!", well kiddies I have constantly noted that those analysis are assumptions, not facts, I could easily be wrong, because I don't know you people, for example JP's analysis, that was a complete miss, or Minxie's, in her analysis I said that she would break down if she killed someone, I was wrong and that's a fact.
Another thing that's Mr. Mcdonalds doesn't know me, to say that I am a psychopath, so I will gladly debunk his little chart over here, to make my point clear (The things that will stay unchanged are true).
Kelevra
Also, you said that me calling myself "10 steps ahead" means I'm a pompous, egoist? Well pompous, yes, but calling me an Egoist, we're all Egoists. The question is, who is a bigger Egoist, in our case, you are a bigger Egoist than I am. This opinion of yours, that I'm a psychopath, if it was your opinion and you kept it to yourself, if all of it was simply an assumption, but it isn't. Not only are you 100% sure of your calculations, but you are also trying to convince everyone in how correct it is. As for the "10 steps ahead" phrase, well its fact, Minxie is 5 steps ahead of you pHIL. You know why? She and I, we realized our secret, horrible desire, in doing so, we found out where we stand and we know our limits, we know ourselves better than some people, those some people, are you pHIL. You know why you're a couple of steps behind? Because you haven't fulfilled you're deepest, darkest desire, you probably don't even know what it is. So how about you go and take a good, long look in the mirror and I do mean it, take a chair if you need and find out, the horrible things you truly want to do, killing isn't the most horrible thing.
So here is my analysis to you Mcdonald:
You seem to be prideful in your knowledge, thus you will deny if someone questions them, you will also deny the fact that you are wrong, because your pride is just too darn big. Which in result means your Ego is big. I don't mean you're stupid, no, on the contra ire, you're smart. But until you admit your weaknesses, not to me, not to anyone else, but to yourself. You will remain to be, a poor little man, who will keep denying his mistakes, until his mistakes drive him to his grave.
All assumptions of course.
But before I start explaining a few things, I would like to say, Minxie, you surprised me. Honestly, when I first saw your blog, I thought "Well this is boring" but then I started to notice, something makes me keep coming back to your blog, didn't take me long to understand what it was, your curiosity, that same curiosity is the reason why I consider you to be a friend, but more about that later.
So what was the purpose of the Therapy, it had nothing but good intentions, of course the way to achieve them was...questionable to some, but that is because none of you understood, now I will try to explain. I said countless times that I wanted to help Minxie find out what kind of person she is, to let her find out her limits, where she was standing in all of this, when you know those things, your survival chances increase drastically, you start thinking much more clearer.
At first, I thought this therapy was to come to an end when she would make her first kill, but when I saw the lack of emotion, I figured it out, she didn't feel anything, because her emotions were not fixated on that person, they were fixated on Snowblind. I needed to expand those emotions, I needed to turn them into pure hatred, so she would be able to find out what kind of person she is, after she had killed Snowy.
There is a theory I've been using behind all of this, and that theory is rather simple. You see, lots of people think that they are "good", but why do they assume that? You know why? They are afraid, afraid that if they do something "bad" they will go to prison, or hell, or some place. So they automatically assume the role of a good person out of fear and as we all know, anything that is done out of fear has no moral value whatsoever. The only way to determine what kind of person you are, is to commit the most horrendous sin, to kill someone and if after you kill someone, you feel tremendous guilt, you're a good person. But if you feel nothing and even at some point, enjoyment, then you are a horrible person, but that doesn't mean you're not human. This is why I told Minxie that she is a horrible person, just like me, she didn't feel any ounce of guilt after she had killed Snowflake, but she understood, that wasn't the end of her humanity, now she knows what she is capable of.
The reason why I wanted to help her out? While it is true, that I was interested in how she would end up, I was doing all of that, because I considered her to be my friend. You see, her questions, her curiosity, showed interest in me, before Minxie, the only one I could talk to was Azoth, at first I payed no attention to that, but then a realization came. It is pretty depressing, when the only thing that is interested in you and understands you is not even human, makes you feel like you're not a human, made me forget that I was human and I was fully convinced that I was a monster. But then Minxie comes along and starts taking interest in my fascinations, at some point she even starts to understand me, that brought back the feeling of humanity, she reminded me that I was a human, a horrible, but a human non the less. As much as we want to deny it, we are all human, even if we have supernatural talents.
So, I guess I have this to say, thank you Minxie, you reminded me of something important, although I bleed Azoth, I am still made out of human meat and organs and I can easily die, that I am human.
Now for some psychology, originally I was going to make this post a simple explanation to my motives behind Minxie's therapy. But there's another person I need to address, pHIL. For this part, you need to read his post, in order to understand what this is all about.
Mr. Mcdonalds here constantly implied that I am a psychopath and today he made this silly chart of his to prove his point. Problem with that is, he knows diddly squat about me, so he can't really determine anything. Now all of you can easily turn that around on me and say "But uncle Kelevra, you did almost the same analysis on us!", well kiddies I have constantly noted that those analysis are assumptions, not facts, I could easily be wrong, because I don't know you people, for example JP's analysis, that was a complete miss, or Minxie's, in her analysis I said that she would break down if she killed someone, I was wrong and that's a fact.
Another thing that's Mr. Mcdonalds doesn't know me, to say that I am a psychopath, so I will gladly debunk his little chart over here, to make my point clear (The things that will stay unchanged are true).
Kelevra
- Glibness/superficial charm- 1
- Grandiose sense of self-worth- 1 (I don't care about myself, only about my goals, which are in turn Fortissimo's goals, so I don't do it only for myself, I do for Fortissimo as well.)
- Pathological lying-0 (Never lied in my life, withheld information? yes, lied? Give me at least one example)
- Cunning/manipulative - 2
- Lack of remorse or guilt - 2
- Shallow affect -1 (Tell you me this before I met Minxie, that would have been complete truth, but now, after this therapy, only partially)
- Callousness; lack of empathy-1 (Same reason as above)
- Failure to accept responsibility for his own actions- 0 (I accept full well the responsibility of my actions, I simply don't care about them, but I do accept them)
- Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom- 1
- Parasitic lifestyle- 1
- Poor behavioral control - 0 (Full control of my behavior, I do things when I want to do them, someone insults me, I can ignore them, or attack them, but I do it because I want to, not because I feel insulted, in fact I take my insults as compliments, when people insult me, they show that I exist)
- Lack of realistic long-term goals- 0 (Destruction is a pretty realistic goal to me, a goal that has been with me ever sine I was born, not a good goal, but a realistic one, now the fact that I can't fulfill it is true, but it is real, someday the world will end, but I won't be around to see it, so until then, I cause as much destruction as I can.)
- Impulsivity-0 (I always think over my actions, and take into consideration the consequences, if I didn't, I wouldn't be ready for them and quite frankly, would be dead.)
- Irresponsibility-0 (I have responsibility of protecting Incognito, had the responsibility of protecting Minxie and have responsibility of protecting Fortissimo.)
- Juvenile delinquency- 2
- Early behavior problems- 2
- Promiscuous sexual behavior-2
- Many short-term relationships-0 (Had only one relationship, my darling Fortissimo.)
- Criminal versatility-1 (I keep careful safety of myself, for if I die, Fortissimo dies, along with that I take into consideration the safety of people I want to keep safe.)
Also, you said that me calling myself "10 steps ahead" means I'm a pompous, egoist? Well pompous, yes, but calling me an Egoist, we're all Egoists. The question is, who is a bigger Egoist, in our case, you are a bigger Egoist than I am. This opinion of yours, that I'm a psychopath, if it was your opinion and you kept it to yourself, if all of it was simply an assumption, but it isn't. Not only are you 100% sure of your calculations, but you are also trying to convince everyone in how correct it is. As for the "10 steps ahead" phrase, well its fact, Minxie is 5 steps ahead of you pHIL. You know why? She and I, we realized our secret, horrible desire, in doing so, we found out where we stand and we know our limits, we know ourselves better than some people, those some people, are you pHIL. You know why you're a couple of steps behind? Because you haven't fulfilled you're deepest, darkest desire, you probably don't even know what it is. So how about you go and take a good, long look in the mirror and I do mean it, take a chair if you need and find out, the horrible things you truly want to do, killing isn't the most horrible thing.
So here is my analysis to you Mcdonald:
You seem to be prideful in your knowledge, thus you will deny if someone questions them, you will also deny the fact that you are wrong, because your pride is just too darn big. Which in result means your Ego is big. I don't mean you're stupid, no, on the contra ire, you're smart. But until you admit your weaknesses, not to me, not to anyone else, but to yourself. You will remain to be, a poor little man, who will keep denying his mistakes, until his mistakes drive him to his grave.
All assumptions of course.
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