Hey Incogny,
Are you mad about my previous experiment? Don't be, I'm only trying to understand you, is that so wrong?
It has also come to my attention that you have been getting very comfortable, healing and resting, and shit. You were right, if you ever get so old, you might as well be dead.
So I did you a favor, I wanted to personally thank the man that patched you up after the beating you took at the hands of Mennonite, I came over, but his door was closed, so I figured he wouldn't mind and figured I might as well wait for in the kitchen.
Once I heard the door open, I got off the chair and walked towards the door way, he was so surprised to see me, that he tried to run and get more guests. However, I'm a shy person, so I asked my darling to pull him back inside of his house, she did as I asked.
Once he calmed down, I wanted to ask him a few questions about you Incogny, after all, this is the man that used to work with you in KGB, until he retired of course. I'll tell you, he wasn't willing to talk at all, no matter how much I asked him, he'd rather lie:
"I worked with "Incognito" for 30 years, I saved his life once outside of Moscow, that's all I know..."
"You saved his life just once? Don't be so modest, doc! How about more recently, when Mennonite took him on a Sledge Hammer roller coaster?"
"I don't know where to find him."
"Right, but you do know a thing or two else about him, huh? I mean, you're his doctor, right? A man that gets shot and stabbed so much, he must have somebody who patches him up from time to time, right?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I imagine you've seen him naked. Can you tell me how that's like?"
"In 1989 I was on a top secret operation to take down a group of terrorists. They captured me, put me in a cage, broke both of my arms, beat me and starved me for four months. I'll tell you now,what I told those bastards every morning back then, GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
"Now see, here I am, treating you all civil-like, letting you sit here in your house and talk to me like a man. But never mind now..."
I asked my darling to wrap around his neck and lift him in the air, she did as I asked.
"I'll just get what I need from your screams."
I believe, details of what happened later, are unnecessary, since soon you're going to be hearing about it on the news.
As soon as I read that I switched on the news. Well. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteYet if my current condition allowed it, I'd probably be laughing.... You get a doctor who's known him for years, and the question at the top of your list is apparently "What does Incognito look like with his ass, knob and balls hanging out? THIS IS WORTH STRANGLING SOMEONE OVER" You have strange priorities. His balls are not made of solid gold, you know.
I lived with the guy for two months in the van, if you ever question me you better not ask me that, because I would laugh myself to death before I could give a proper answer.
Obsessed much? Seriously, if you love him this much just get a damn room.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, original, you must be one hell of a comedian. Just in case, that was sarcasm.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, who in the fuck are you? Never seen you around here...or anywhere really, before.
*comedienne. Comedian is male, comedienne is female. Like actor / actress.
DeleteHonestly didn't know there was a separate word for woman in that respect.
DeleteI know, it's not even used that often; I'm just teasing him. It's my hobby. One that is going to get me dropkicked in the face someday.
DeleteWhat a interesting hobby... I like it.
DeleteI was expecting a "why are you his friend?" followed with a lecture on keeping with the wrong company. A sure sign I've been talking to a Artsyom too much. But now he's in the slammer so whatever.
DeleteOh Minxie, you can never get on my nerves. The only time you could, was when we weren't friends, remember that time? When you were freaking out in the comments about my "hobbies"?
DeleteYou did say you were going to screw my dead body. That does frighten a girl. And you said there was no way I could earn your respect for you not to do it.
DeleteBut then I did! >:p
I wont lecture you. To each his own with things like that.
DeleteYeah, I always said that. Then I met a necrophiliac. But I can't take issue with it because he's bigger than me. And we're friends. Which is weird because I'm also friends with Incognito. Is that stupid?
DeleteNot really stupid... I have friends from both sides of things that try to rip each others throats out, so its not such a strange concept.
DeleteI still have favourites. If I saw Incognito trying to kill Kelevra, I wouldn't stop him. But if I saw Kelevra trying to kill Incognito, I'd split his fuckin grid with a Mossberg.
DeleteNice.
DeleteI'd say something about you loving him, but that'd be a cheap shot.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is, your fascination with this man is going to be your downfall. He sees you as just another psychopath, a nuisance to be dealt with as soon as possible. You have to MAKE him learn about your life; he doesn't give a shit, he's completely incurious about you, he knows enough to know you need to be put down and I will buy him a steak on that day.
Fine with me, however you underestimate him. He will learn about me, he is finding my Therapists tapes and posts them on his blog, he even transcribes them, which means he listens to them, which means he is learning about me. I don't need him to know me, I need him to know about me, he knows my past, my real name, that is all I need. The reason why he will learn? Because it will help him kill me (In his mind) he doesn't dismiss his enemies, he studies them, so he can use their weaknesses against them. That's how he operates, so he will learn about me, he might now know me, like I know him, but that doesn't matter.
DeleteFair game.
Delete